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Apparently, you don’t need to be a writer to write a blog, which is just as well because I’m not a writer; I’m a Pilates Teacher (and a Pilates Studio owner).

This is where I'll try to add another layer of understanding of what we do, how we do it and at times some shorter items of random thoughts and/or reflections.

Efrat (Aoife) Kahanov

I need a break... ❥

Published on 6th Apr 2021 at 15:01 by Efrat (Aoife) Kahanov

Hello Everyone,


I hope you had a great long weekend and enjoyed the Easter Break - and I'm wondering...
What did you break from this weekend?


Going through a lot.

Personally I've been through a lot the past week.
Although the details don't really matter, I will share with you that my father in law, who's not a well man (he's also 83 years of age) completely collapsed on us and the doctors told us to "get ready" as it didn't look like he was going to make it...
And yet, in the Easter spirit, he's now getting better and my house breathed out a sigh of relief.
Nevertheless, we did go through hell and back in a space of only one week, which was hard.

As things are calming back down, what strikes me is the difference between 'Going Through A Lot' and 'Doing A Lot'  - I can safely tell you a lot had happened, but not a hell of a lot was actually done this week.

And of course it's OK not to do a hell of a lot when you're going through tough times.
I know that.
You know that.
There are plenty of meme and sayings out there in the world telling us this.

I've also noticed how much compassion we
have for others when they go through a lot.
With that I'm trying to "practice compassion"
to not be too hard on myself, letting go of the
guilt, self criticism over stuff I did not do.

It's not easy to give yourself grace, but recognising
you're going through a lot, or have been through
a lot, is the first step.

it's funny how we sometimes say "I'm taking a break from __________",  when in reality we just stop doing things that are now deemed "not that important", because there are other things that are more important do deal with.
Note the "BECAUSE".


I need a break because...

I'm sure you know that feeling of "I need a break".
"I need a break" is our answer to when we feel things, life, just got a bit too much for us and we want to get away from it all - "Stop the bus, I need to get off for a wee while!".
We look forward to that Bank Holiday long weekend, look forward to taking a holiday to "re-charge the batteries" and give ourselves a BREAK.
A break from school or work , a break from cooking dinners everyday, or a break from 'take-aways' and grabbing a quick something to eat all the time... A break from the alarm clocks, or whatever it is about the day-to-day routines that wear us down.

Did you ever sit down to actually specifically articulate what is it actually that you need a break from?

When you think of a BREAK -
 

🌺 What are you taking a break from?

🌺 What are you NOT doing on your break?

🌺 What are you DOING instead?

{ YES. It's ok not to do anything instead. It's totally up to you!}


How does that feel?


I want you to sit for a moment with the questions above (write down your answers if that helps you) - and I want you to NOTICE how does this FEEL.
How does LETTING GO of the stuff you won't do on your break feel in your body.

When you're thinking about a break and what you won't be doing

  • How does your head feel on top of your neck?
  • Did your shoulders dropped a bit from the ears?
  • Did your chest just sink a little bit?
  • Did you let go of holding in your tummy?
  • Did tension in your hip ease off a bit?

Can you discern what part of your body released a bit?
Can you figure out where the tension in your body eased a bit? What can now soften more? 

What I'm asking you is to notice the holding patterns in your body.
Understanding your tension and holding patterns is important because as you know - - -
After each Bank Holiday weekend there's a Tuesday.
After each holiday there's the going back to school, work, making the dinners, attending to the people you love and caring for (kids, parents, friends, neighbours etc.).

Life doesn't really stop: last week it was the father-in-law, next week is the son going back to school, and then it's something else (good or bad)... things will keep on happening. 


But how you hold yourself is what makes the difference.

How you have been 'holding yourself together' in order to cope with the day-to-day matters.
And how you hold yourself has a pattern that evolved over time in response to how you lived your life and what you've gone through (and we've all been through things).
We've learned to hold ourselves in a certain way to be able to manage our lives.

Somehow, someway we manage.

YOU MANAGE.

Your feathers might be ruffled, your
wings might be battered, but you're here.

It is really important you understand that!
And I mean really understand it in your body.

Because if how you've been "holding it together"
in your day-to-day is no longer serving you -
i.e. it causes you pain & stiffness, if that tension
and 'hold' pattern is draining you out  - you end
up longing for the next break when you can 'let
go' ... You end up stuck in a never-ending cycle of emptying your batteries and needing to stop the bus to get off to recharge, over and over and over again...

If you understand what you're holding, you can learn how to consciously let it go. You can give yourself the break!

If you know how to give yourself the break you need then you can enjoy the holidays, the long Bank Holiday weekends. Your break becomes the icing on the cake!🌺 

Let me be honest with you - - -

Letting go is hard and sometimes scary.

It's not easy to let go.
The pattern of hold is engraved in your nervous system and becomes second nature, a habit that needs to be unravelled.
I say "unravelled" because you do not 'break habits'. You cannot bulldoze over them, they formed for you to manage, remember? They kept you safe, they helped you survive. Denying them is denying who you are and how you're coping with life.

Your body perceives the 'hold' as necessary crutches.
It can literally feel terrifying to let go because it's like taking something you depended on for a long while away.

➤ When my hip tightens up and pains me, it's holding on because there's a fear that if it lets go it will collapse from underneath me.
➤ You're shoulders might be doing the same to hold your neck and balance your heavy head.
➤ Your back is getting rigid and the muscles contract (or spasm) because there's a fear that if it won't you will not be able to hold yourself upright.
➤ Knees usually feel the hold from your hip, lower back OR from your ankle and feet.

Working through the fear by understanding what it is and then figuring out the alternatives is a process.

  • First, you need to learn your pattern
  • Second, you need to understand what it serves (there's always a reason!).
  • Then you learn to let go in a safe way, a safe environment that respects your body AND at the same time figure out & build up strength for an alternative way to hold yourself through life.

If anything that I wrote here today makes you curious and you want to learn more, let me know.
I'll be happy to talk to you ðŸ˜Š.

Have a great day,
Much love, Aoifeღ


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